Bumper sticker: Life doesn’t happen for you — it happens to you.

There’s a saying at my work and it goes a little something like this: control your controllables. This line gets tossed around a lot because — and just like in life — there’s a lot of things you can’t control; however, if you can manage to master the things you can, you’ll have better ground when it comes to tackling the things you can’t. At work this means acknowledging the fact that we can’t control what people buy, but we can control what they see, and that can influence what gets put in their cart, so we adapt.

Just like any store, you’re not going to be able to miss the chocolate-covered strawberries for Valentine’s Day because it’ll always be right in front of you; the same way burgers and chips get pushed for Independence Day, skeletons for Halloween, and turkey for Thanksgiving. It’s all there, whether or not you choose to take it. It’s there, and that’s what we like to call, a controlled environment.

You can drive sales and project profit, but you can’t force the money nor the people who decide to step through the door. That fate is beyond our control.

Kinda like the phases of the menstrual cycle. You can tend to the bleeding and even pretend it’s not there, something for some reason the rest of the world expects us ladies to do — but the reality is, the blood is just the tip of the iceberg. So much more goes on during this phase than most people realize. It’s not just a matter of containing the flow, your body is acting on its own, haven’t you ever wondered why?

Well, prepare to learn anyway.

Let’s get one thing straight. This is biology. This is hormones. This is…
The Menstruation Phase.

Let’s begin.

Phase One of the Menstrual Cycle is called the menstruation phase, and it occurs when the presence of pregnancy is deemed nonexistent and so, the uterus begins to shed its lining (you know, the layer of tissue that fertilized eggs attach to as a resting place to grow). Without a fertilized egg, there’s no use for that kind of tissue, and so the body gets rid of it, but just like when any of us peel back skin, the result is usually you’re going to bleed, and so we do. Now, some of us bleed for 3 days, others for 5, but the reality is each body is different, and the phase itself is only as uniform as its constructive goal — to shed the lining. And that, is phase one —BUT wait, there’s more.

During this process, we experience a drop in hormones like estrogen, progesterone, and serotonin. Now, estrogen is the hormone responsible for building the lining that’s meant to sustain the life of the fertilized egg, so no pregnancy means no need for the uterine lining which means no need for a surplus of estrogen. Makes sense, but here’s the catch, estrogen also influences our serotonin levels (the “feel-good” hormone), so when estrogen drops, so does serotonin — which explains why we often feel more irritable, sad, or even more sensitive during this phase of the cycle. Not to mention that the blood loss alone is what makes us feel so fatigued and the reason behind this is the fact that when we bleed, we lose what is called iron.

Iron aids in a plethora of different tasks within the body. For instance, it helps carry oxygen throughout the blood and so without enough iron, cells don’t get enough oxygen, and ATP (Adenosine Triphosphate) can’t be produced. ATP is our body’s energy currency, and cells need oxygen to produce our energy, so to put it simply,

low iron = low oxygen = low ATP = low energy = ): waaaah

Suffice to say, whether we want to admit it or not, this change in our body affects us. Progesterone is responsible for our calm state of mind, so when that hormone drops, we experience moodiness, irritability, even anxiety. And that uterine lining that sheds? Remember how I mentioned the peeling back of the skin? Well, the lining doesn’t just fall off on its own and we bleed as a result. No, it sheds by means of contractions — something we recognize as cramps. Yaaaaaaaay……

You know, I find it interesting how I’ve gone the last decade of my life just plugging holes in my body instead of wrapping my head around the concept that’s behind all the bleeding. I’ve always centered my cycle around shame and have always tried to hide it the best that I could, but the problem is, the thing I’m ultimately trying to hide from is, myself.

My body. I’ll say things like, “No, I’m not moody,” or I’ll spend more hours sleeping than anything else, and then I’ll complain about feeling bloated but pretend not to know why — I mean, it’s right there, at my fingertips; an opportunity to create a controlled environment, yet I’m fighting it. Why?

The truth is, I don’t like how my biology affects me. I don’t like waking up and wanting to go back to bed. I don’t like how everything I eat during this phase makes me feel ten pounds heavier than I actually am. I don’t like how I know I’m capable of running but somehow can’t bring myself to do it. And I especially don’t like that this phase that’s only supposed to last for 5 days actually takes weeks to recover from and before I know it — I’m there, again.

I don’t like it, so I think I can run from it, but I can’t. I can’t run from myself; I just have to figure out what it means to be myself.

Okay, so during my period I’m slow and less energized, so what? What do I do with that? How do I capitalize? How can I adapt and make it so that I no longer pretend to be caught off guard by this slowdown that literally happens every single month — like I know it’s there, I know it’s coming.

It came, and it went. And here we are, but it’s not over. Now, I’m knee deep into the Follicular Phase, and after that, it’ll be Ovulation, and then Luteal — but I’ll save those phases for later.

The point is, after all that, I’ll bleed, again.

You can’t hide from your body. It’s your vessel. It’s working for you — doing things you can’t do even if you tried to. It’s your body.

And you know, so much of life revolves around the desire of wanting to know who we are, but isn’t this a part of it?

This is who I am. I get tired and I slow down, but that doesn’t have to mean I stop. I just have to learn how to move, even if just an inch further, and accept that progress is progress.

I’ve made Tomiee Cruise out to be this unstoppable woman, I mean, on point 24/7. But that’s not realistic. It can’t be, because I can’t be — I need to change the narrative and redefine what being on point means.

So now being on point means being on track — to wherever it is I’m going.

It means moving, even if just an inch further, in the right direction. It means knowing how to aid in my slowdown, for the sake of my stamina, and surrendering to the things that are out of my control while doing my part to adapt to the things that are.

And it’s not going to happen overnight. It’ll take months, maybe even a year, because I only get one shot at tackling each phase roughly every 28 days.

But that’s okay. I’ll keep moving, because even if life only happens to me and not for me, I can be the thing that happens for life, and I can only imagine how it feels to summit that mountain.

People do it, can you?

Think about it.

Cheers,
B.