“If you’re willing to stay determined, work according to a plan, and keep getting up when you get knocked down, you will be able to achieve your goals — and someday, your dreams.”
— Failing Forward

When I first started learning how to drive, I had virtually no orientation of the road, so when I had to get somewhere, I’d normally have to leave twice as early because it’d normally take me twice as long. Sure, GPS was a thing but to me, it was just as confusing as navigating Twitter and although my common sense has since developed, I’d often miss my turns because 400 ft always felt farther away than it actually was. 

Whenever my mom would be in the car, she’d often reroute me saying, “No, go this way” or “don’t turn back for the freeway, just go to the ramp on the next street up,” and when I’d ask why, she’d say this line that would eventually become a hand-me-down. She’d say, “we don’t need to go backwards to go forward.” I didn’t understand what she meant back then, but in terms of the road, she was saying that if we’re trying to go South, there’s no point in going North. Now, if you were 16, would you understand what that means? Because I didn’t.

I didn’t understand it, but I think I have a good grip on it now and despite its logic, I’m going to agree to disagree; sometimes we need to. Sometimes, it’s the only way. 

And mom, if you’re reading this, I know you meant directionally, I just needed a transitional sentence. 

But seriously, take bodybuilders, for example. They go through constant bulking and cutting phases — intentionally gaining weight just to lose it again, all for the sake of sculpting something stronger. Writers, they revise. Pages get ripped and paragraphs rearranged. Some sentences get swapped out for others just to be added back in again for the sake of poetry and flow and well, “because I said so.” And we cut our hair because somehow it helps it grow faster — ‘splain that. 

The point is, going backwards doesn’t always mean regression, sometimes it shows intention. Proof you’re paying attention; they say the first step to solving any problem is acknowledging there is one in the first place. We don’t like to admit it, but our shortcomings do make up who we are. We deny it over and over again and then wonder why we keep falling short… over and over again. That’s the problem. It becomes a routine and once we acknowledge that reality, that’s what gives us the potential to change. Not by moving forward, but by going backwards. If you leave a problem in the past, it’ll follow you everywhere you go.

I didn’t read this month, and if I didn’t acknowledge why, I’d probably go next month without reading too. I didn’t track my food, I didn’t hit my bedtime goals, and I kissed and made up with my TV. I did not make it to Tomiee Cruise status and if you’ve been following along, you’d know that’s exactly what I want to be. She’s big, she’s bold, she’s honest. She’s the character in my mind I want to play, but I judge her, so I can’t. She’s too big, she’s too bold, and she’s too honest. But there’s a silver lining in admitting those things, and it’s admitting those things. Now I can change. 

So, what have I done?

Welcome to The Growth & Grind Report.

Heart — Be intentional in my relationships & try something new

1. I tried out line-dancing for the first time with my sister (if you missed this post, you can read it here)
2. I went on a spontaneous speed-run with a friend followed by a mindful yoga and deep breathing session to cool-down.
3. I engaged in fruitful conversations with my friends, my family, and my coworkers.
4. I went to a Post Malone concert and went to see (2) movies: How to Train Your Dragon and F1 (not once, but twice, Brad, you never fail me — if I wasn’t so die-hard Tom Cruise, I’d probably name my character after you, Bradiee Pitt) … No… doesn’t have the same ring.

Moving on.

Mind — Be intentional with my time

1. I realized the book I was reading was not one to have in the cue and to really take my time on it. I also realized that if I wanted it to be in the cue but also wanted to take my time with it, instead of taking an actual pause in my reading, I can simply re-read the parts of the book I want to instill in my everyday life.
2. I scored a position in the Supervisor in Training program (SIT) at my work.

Next!

Body — Be intentional with my movement

1. I experienced great consistency with being intentional with my movement (successfully going to the gym at least 4x/week, if not more).
2. Despite not journaling my food intake, I was still mindful about my eating habits; however, I did embrace meals outside my kitchen, roughly 10 times. Not necessarily proud of this number, but each one of these meals served as a product of adventure, and for that, I cannot complain.
3. A goal I’m happy to share about is the fact that I was able to achieve three plus rounds of basketball with my friends.

Lastly,

Pocket — Be intentional with my spending
Initial savings from Mei: $200
Projected savings for Jöön: $600
Actual savings for Jöön: $516

1. I stuck to my financial plan (50/30/20 rule) with a few exceptions (pulled money from my savings to fund gas for adventures — i.e. line-dancing in LA, the Post Malone concert, not to mention the movie tickets)
2. And I developed a greater sense of awareness when it comes to grocery shopping. Now, I feel more mindful when I make my list and am more likely to follow it instead of just grabbing whatever feels right in the moment.

So, there you have it. With Jöön came maturity, growth, and the reminder that sometimes progress is a loop, not a line. That going backwards can be a good thing; sometimes we need to — sometimes, it’s the only way.

What can you take a step back on?

Think about it.

Jöön, how I hate to leave you,
but Jöölai, how I can’t wait to meet you.

So, let’s begin.

Cheers,
B.