“Focusing on what you don’t do discounts all you’ve already done.”
— Dory Noriega, aka my sister.

As much as I’d like to say I overestimated myself this month, I’ll settle for the truth: I’m learning. And if Jöön has given me nothing else, it’s given me the humility to admit I don’t know all that there is to know about me — but I want to.

It’s an out-of-body experience, really, to acknowledge my disappointment without letting it bury my progress. I feel like I’m starting to look at myself like a business. You know, I run the numbers, view this month’s goal and its outcome, realize the follow-through could have been better, and then make the decision to try again tomorrow. It’s this newfound attitude that makes me believe maturity not only exists, but it’s tangible; I can feel it, I can see it, I am it. I’m adulting y’all, and it feels good.

Now, why am I rambling on about this, you ask? Well, what I had hoped to be a rather fruitful month of reading turned out to be a standstill. My original goal of reading a minimum of 10 pages a day swiftly turned into 5, then 2, until quickly it turned into none. 

And the problem wasn’t the book, because the book was good. So good, in fact, that I didn’t want to read anymore; I wanted the words on the page to marinate, to grow legs and walk among me. A chapter in the book I was reading became so pertinent to my life in real time that I couldn’t bring myself to continue reading until something in my life had changed. 

And it did, but that’s a story for The Growth & Grind Report.

Of course, looking back now, I realize I could’ve just reread the same 10 pages each day instead of deciding to stop reading all together, but you know what they say, hindsight’s 20/20.

And that’s the beauty of it all. From this “failure,” I learned something new. I learned how to pivot. Now, if I want to take a pause in my reading, I know it’s not a literal pause, but a productive rewind. And just like that, I achieve a way to keep moving forward, even without knowing exactly where forward is. 

It’s just as I’ve said before in Chapter One: Mei —

“This is mess, this is nonlinear, this is me.” 

If I can’t embrace that, then what am I doing here? What is any of this for?

It’s for me, so here’s to showing up, running the numbers, acknowledging the outcome, and deciding to be better.

And next month will be better, so I need to stick around to tell the tale. 

Let’s get into the reports.

The Reading & Rhythm Report

UNFINISHED:
The 5 Levels of Leadership by John C. Maxwell 

And the line that stopped me in my tracks:

“The bottom line is that an invitation to lead people is an invitation to make a difference. Good leadership changes individual lives. It forms teams. It builds organizations. It impacts communities. It has the potential to impact the world. But never forget that position is only the starting point.”

2. Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey. I did end up finishing his audiobook and I LOVED it. 10/10 would read again. McConaughey’s an amazing storyteller and is constantly leaving pieces of advice throughout the book, if not on every other page. I’ve come to find I really like autobiographies. It might actually be my favorite reading niche because a majority of them pay forward valuable life lessons and self-development is my bread and butter. So, don’t be surprised if I start adding more of them to my reading list, you have been warned.

Now, on to the bops.

Jöön’s Line-Up, Spotify style:

1. Gasoline & Matches by Cameron Whitcomb
2. MAGPIE by Khushi
3. Dance With You by Family and Friends 
4. What You Know by Two Door Cinema Club
5. doing my best by Hazlett

Despite the shortcomings, I’m really proud of this month. I gained a better understanding of myself and for that, I am eternally grateful.

What are you walking away this month with?

That’s a wrap on The Reading & Rhythm Report, stick around for The Growth & Grind Report.

Cheers.
B.