The Processing Mind

Chapter Two: Jöön.

June 1st, 2025

“Always fill your own cup first, then allow the world to benefit from the overflow.”
— Unknown

Jöön has entered the chat, so let the four corner goals begin.

Body
Daily Movement — Each morning after I drop off my son at daycare, I’m going to head to the gym. Doesn’t matter what I do, I just have to do something. 30 minutes minimum. Take a class, run a lap, play ball, doesn’t matter, just be there.
Food Journal — I need to start eating on a regular basis again, so I’m going to photograph my food to keep track of how often I’m eating, not to mention what.
Sleep — Goal bedtime — 10 p.m. sharp. I want to be a better morning person, and I can’t do that if I stay up late. I want to be better for my son who always wakes up with a smile on his face. I don’t want to be the one to ruin that. So, off to bed I go.
Water — I can’t just not mention water; it’s the headliner of every weight-loss journey ever. But, to start out, a glass in the morning, then again in the afternoon, and one before bed. YES, I KNOW I NEED MORE WATER, HUSH IT YOU!

Moving on.

Mind
Reading List
5 Levels of Leadership
— John C. Maxwell, (286 pages)
How Not to Kill Yourself: A Portrait of the Suicidal Mind
— Clancy Martin, (333 pages)
Greenlights
— Matthew McConaughey, (289 pages)
Blood Covenant
— Michael Franzese, (400 pages)
Book Goal: 2 min., 4 max.

Next!

Heart
Seek out goal-driven relationships
Surround myself with people who are better than me at the things I want to be better at (i.e. basketball, running, hiking)
Step out of my comfort zone and enter the crowd (short term goals = work gatherings/events; long term goals = taking part in things I know I’d have fun if I wasn’t too shy to do them (i.e. karaoke night, poetry night, open-mic night)

And lastly,

Pocket
Starting savings: $200
Predicted savings by Jöölai: $600
No shopping, period. Though, adventures are welcomed.
No takeout, period. Though, if it’s in the grocery store, all’s fair game.

Throughout the week, I’ll be dropping a more detailed explanation of my standards and expectations for the Four Corners I’ll be closing in on for the next year. I wanted to write more, but it’s already 9:26 p.m. where I’m at and if I want to get to bed in time, I need to start logging off now.

But I just wanted to give Jöön a warm welcome to the blog, and I’m sure I’ll be seeing you all tomorrow.

To Jöön,
B.
Mei ft. The Curated Drop: The Growth & Grind Report

May 31st, 2025
The thing about startups is… they’re exhausting. You know it, I know it, and that, I suppose, is why they’re not for the faint of heart. I mean, the moment we decide to start a project, that project becomes the thing that hijacks our mind; every thought thereafter becomes held hostage by the work — the vision, the pressure, and the hours you didn’t plan to give but somehow always do. It. demands. everything.

And the crazy part is, it always starts small, like a seed. You don’t notice it at first but different experiences that lead you back to that particular thought acts as a watering pail; slowly, that seed begins to sprout and from there, it’s only a matter of time before you have a nice view in your garden. One minute you’re thinking, “This could be cool,” and then it turns into a, “I need to write this down,” and then before you know it, you’ve written a whole outline on how to execute this vision- this, new dream of yours. You find yourself spacing out a lot more wondering when you’re going to be able to work on your new concept again and God forbid you have a better idea that’s more worthy of your time, because then the process starts over and that, is exhausting.

Uh oh, did I just out myself? I mean, here I am, spewing out blog posts, rambling on as I so often do for the sake of letting everything that’s going on in my head out.

You guessed it, I’m exhausted.

The truth is, I find myself restarting this process at least once a year. First, I wanted to start a podcast and call it The Big Shirt podcast because I wanted to wear big shirts and talk about the thoughts that stopped me in my tracks. Before that, I wanted to start one called Nonlinear You which would go over topics I’m pretty much going to cover in this blog, The Processing Mind. And before that, I wanted to make one called the Happy Body Podcast, because well, with the words happy body, happy soul being my tagline, I bet you can all assume that at the time, that’s exactly what I was looking for – and just like this blog, I wanted to share my journey to finding it with you as my audience.

From the Happy Body Podcast, I started a personal training business called, The Build Up Method, because I was freshly certified in fitness and nutrition and I wanted to educate people about getting healthy, the right way.

Before that, I wanted to make and sell pet products, so I made that idea official by calling my business, Say Fetch.

And earlier this year, along with The Big Shirt Podcast, I came up with another idea for ‘The Film Responder’ – my clever take on ‘first responders’, because I wanted to write reviews based on films and shows that covered, you guessed it, our heroes that don’t wear capes.

And the problem with all of these, is that I still think they’re all still really good ideas! I’ve made all the t-shirts, designed all the cover art, and publicly registered all the names, and yet here I am, doing it all over again because I thought this blog would be better.

And in all honesty, I don’t mind because I just really love coming up with names. Like, if I could make a living just doing that, that’d be enough for me. But that’s why I write, why I start over, and why this blog is called, The Processing Mind – because I am constantly looped in the process of my mind.

However, what I’m looking for now, is consistency. I want to do this. I want to make something of this, so there’s been a whole lot more planning in the background on this one. I like the name, I like what I’m doing, and I believe I have the stamina for it.

So, let’s dive in.

The Growth & Grind Report.

I’m going to keep this first one short because the truth is, this project is only a week old and I’m just warming up here.

The biggest victory I experienced in Mei is acknowledging that I have a problem, unfortunately in several areas of my life.
1. I don’t like where I’m at physically, with my weight.
  - After having my son, I became a very picky eater and suffer from many food aversions that have kept me from enjoying the foods I used to. I often find myself without cravings, too, which makes it harder for me to decide what to eat, leading me to wait until the last minute when my body is screaming at me for food and I give in to snacks and undesirable choices. So this, must change.
2. I’ve become lazy and unproductive.
  - My job is very hands-on and laborious so most times I use that as an excuse to do absolutely nothing on my down time. I love to sleep and watch tv and of course, that’s good in moderation, but my accumulation of hours on these two specific things are excessive. So this, must change.
3. The people I often choose to associate with, do not stimulate me.
  - Now, it’s important to note that although it’s not someone else’s job to stimulate you, it is important to hang around people who inspire and make you better. This is not to say that the people I tend to spend time with are not great people, because they are. I just feel like a lot of them are so comfortable with where they’re at in life that they’re merely sitting on the same steps I’m trying to climb. So this, must change.
4. My finances.
  - I’m 25, I’m married, and I’m a mom. I should know better. I have no savings, I spend too much of my excess income on things I don’t need, and I’ve recently stepped into the era of my life where travel doesn’t look so bad. The only problem is, I don’t have a handle on my finances. So this, must change.
I’m sure there’s more I can work on, but for the next year, these four will be my focus. My growth this month is the acknowledgement that change needs to happen and the grind is in the planning.

Although Mei’s come and gone, her epiphany remains.
I’m turning a new leaf, and this time, I’m setting the pace.
The air feels different, and the sun’s made her debut.

So, ready or not, everybody,
here comes Joon.
Mei, & The Financial Pivot, 3

May 30th, 2025
Tip, pay yourself first. Treat your savings like a bill. It’s not optional — it’s a future-you deposit.

I won’t hide from the fact that I grew up poor, but with parents smart enough to know how to work the system, we never found ourselves in a particular puddle for too long. Sure enough, wherever there was mud, there was also always a clean hose for us to wash off with. I’ve never experienced the poverty people like Viola Davis suffered through, such as having to go extended periods of time without access to clean and running water, but I’ve also never experienced her amount of success, so I wonder if that cancels anything out. I mean, if I ever became highly acclaimed in the exact career field I had always dreamed about, wouldn’t that be enough to lessen the blow of the earlier years where nothing went my way?

I surmise I’ll have to get back to you on that one.

The point is, I grew up poor. And you’d think my relationship with poverty would act as a driving force to secure a reasonable amount of savings, but the truth is, I hold all the red flags when it comes to being financially in control.

Red Flags
1. Lack of Financial Education — lack of learning the basics: budgeting, saving, investing, or credit management.
2. Scarcity Mindset — the belief that there’s never enough because there’s a fear that it could all disappear tomorrow.
3. Using Spending as a Coping Mechanism — Shopping can temporarily soothe, distract, or feel like a way to reclaim control or joy after years of deprivation.
4. Revenge Spending — buying things that were previously out of reach as a way of “making up” for the past.
You name it, I’ve got it, but the goal is not to anymore. So, here’s what I’m going to do.

Plan: I’m going to follow the 50/30/20 plan.

Here’s how it works: 50% of all income goes directly to bills, 30% is dedicated to groceries & gas, and the other 20% gets deposited into a savings account.

However, I’m going to slightly adjust these percentages in order to hit the number goals I have in mind. For example, I’d like to dedicate $200 biweekly towards my savings account, so instead of 20%, I’m going to direct 18.2%, add the other 1.8% towards my grocery & gas fund, making it 31.8%, and leave the 50 rule alone.

Of course, this plan looks good on paper, but what are my concerns?

My debt. How do I manage to consciously save while I’m in debt? I mean, won’t the interest rates eventually creep up on me and if so, wouldn’t having a savings actually be counter-productive? So, this begs the question, should you save while you’re in debt?

Yes, and here’s how:
1. Build a Mini Emergency Fund (MEF) First — Don’t attack your debt aggressively in the beginning, rather, manage to save between $500 – $1,000, or whatever will cover one month’s worth of expenses for you. That way you won’t have to use your credit cards for emergencies.
2. Once your MEF is situated, you can start confronting your debt more seriously. Instead of directing 20% of your income towards your savings, you could dedicate 18% to your debt and 2% to your savings (just to keep the flow going and your initial savings growing)
Because I am going to implement a shopping ban for the rest of the year, meaning I will not be allotting any money towards things as unnecessary as wants (i.e. – coffee runs, takeout, or miscellaneous items), I imagine despite the initial difficulty, paying down my debt should actually be a swift process.

Although, during my initial planning, another concern of mine was the fact that since my bills are scattered throughout the month — sometimes consuming more than 50% of my total biweekly income — I found myself wondering how to successfully satisfy paying all my bills without detouring away from the 50/30/20 rule. Here’s how:

How to Know When to Save (with Scattered Bills):

1. Create a “Money Map” system that breaks each paycheck into consistent portions — no matter when bills hit.
2. Keep 50% of total biweekly income in checking account for bills. If a bill isn’t due yet, just let the money sit there.

That way, each paycheck contains part of your savings + bills, instead of waiting until everything is due. You’re evenly pacing your month, rather than reacting to the calendar. This builds consistency. You’ll never have to scramble when a bill hits because part of each check is already covering it.

It’s almost as if I’ll be creating two separate MEF’s, one present in my checking account, and the other in my savings.

And the timing couldn’t be better. This specific paycheck was only intended to cover a small amount of my bills, which means instead of having to spend more than 50% just to cover it all, I only need 35% this round and can set aside the other 15% to start putting this new plan of mine into motion!

I know it’s easier said than done and not everyone can save the same way I can; I’m fortunate to have the support of my husband to cover the bigger ticket bills such as rent and utilities. Nonetheless, I’m determined to step out of this financial puddle I’ve fallen into and I’m excited to see where it leads.

Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.

— Henry Ford

What’s a financial red flag you’ve had to overcome and how are you tackling your debt? Strategies? Approach? Tips and tricks? If you haven’t had those types of discussions, now would be a great time to start approaching the subject.
Mei ft. The Curated Drop: The Reading & Rhythm Report

May 29th, 2025
When I was younger, I used to look forward to the end of the year – and don’t get me wrong, I still do, but growing up, I used to love receiving these cards in the mail from family members that essentially rounded up the highlights of their year all in one sitting.

I used to read those cards with so much thrill and excitement. It was the thought of putting together all of our greatest achievements over an extended period of time that made me feel like people were truly acknowledging the year and what it had done for us and that to me, was so cool. I didn’t know it then, but that is what we call highlights.

I’ve always loved time, loved it because of what it meant for us. Time gifts us opportunities and experience, growth and change, mental shifts and maturity; I mean, time is the embodiment of the phrase, the world is your oyster… though, not quite sure what that means, just felt right to say – what does an oyster have to do with this anyway?

OH, okay. So, I just checked, and it turns out the world represents an oyster because oysters have pearls, and the pearls represent our greatest potential, so it’s up to us to go out into the world and find our “pearl,” aka our greatest potential. Seems easy enough. Hey, don’t judge. At least I knew how to use it. And just like that, time made me 1% smarter. I wasn’t that smart yesterday. Now, I’m smarter. Ha.

Anyway, I digress.

Those cards don’t come in the mail much anymore but that’s something I’ve always found myself wanting to do. However, wanting to do it and actually doing it are two completely different things; something I hope to change in the coming months.

In fact, that’s actually what brings me here today.

Welcome to what I’m going to call, The Curated Drop, featuring two main categories: The Reading & Rhythm Report, as well as The Growth & Grind Report, the blog post to follow.

The Reading & Rhythm Report will be my cozy monthly round-up where I’ll share the books I’ve finished and the soundtrack that scored my days — whether or not the playlist was directly tied to the reading.

The Growth & Grind Report will recap any victories or milestones I achieved over the course of the month that directly impacts my mission to better myself and my environment (specifically in these areas: weight, productivity, stimulation, and finances). It will also provide sources of encouragement to potentially push YOU to be better, as well as any goals I have set for the month that follows.

It’s the end of Mei, and I’m only just getting started. There’s so much to do and fill you in on but before the month is out, let us dive into this Curated Drop.

Not me trying to be a written youtuber over here – is it working, though?

The Reading & Rhythm Report

the year of less by Cait Flanders
Summary: Flanders goes on a shopping ban, minimizes her belongings, and works through her life-challenges in real-time, sober.
3 star – I liked that this book was under 200 pages. I haven’t read a book in I don’t know how long and anything over this amount would have been too daunting for me to the extent that I don’t believe I would have finished it. I liked that the book cover had an abundance of color and that the title was under cased, as well as the fact that the synopsis centered around minimalism – something I gravitate towards and would like to embody someday. Flanders writing flowed with each passing page, and I especially give her kudos for being so raw. She offered, in my opinion, a few gems that I will take away and even continue to ask myself as I pursue my own form of declutter.

Top Lines
“I had to let go of the stuff I wanted the ideal version of myself to use and accept myself for who I really was.”
“I… asked myself a question I never considered the answer to before: Who are you buying this for: the person you are, or the person you want to be?”

I rated this book 3 stars because I liked three things about it: the way she structures her shopping ban, the flow of the work and her rawness, and the fact that she had a Your Guide to Less inside, allowing her readers to try it on for size, something I actually intend on doing.

This was the only book I read this month.

Now, onto the bops.

I’m a slow-tuned girlie here, ngl. I listen to a lot of lo-fi artists like Bon Iver, Novo Amor, and Hazlett; though you can also find me dancing to the bops of Chappell Roan, The Chainsmokers, and of course the one and only, Andy Grammer. However, you won’t find many of them on this month’s lineup.
Here’s Mei’s Line-Up, Spotify style:
Drop your favorites, and if you listened to any of mine, let me know what you thought!

Otherwise, big shout out to Mei. Although we butted heads at first, you proved to be a rather motivational month for me, and I look forward to seeing these hovering effects on my life a year from now.

Up next on the chopping board, The Growth & Grind Report

Stay tuned,
Now, on to Jöön.
Chapter One: Mei.

May 28th, 2025

It doesn’t have to be cute – it doesn’t have to be pretty; it just has to exist; you can make it good later.

Self-reflection: I often find myself gravitating towards the things that reflect who I want to be while ignoring the things that embody who I actually am. In doing so, I unconsciously reject myself every day. Lately, I wonder what it’s like to escape self-rejection and embark on a life that is authentically me versus the me hidden in the shadows awaiting acceptance.

Thus begins my journey of a new-found self that does not deny who I am but actually takes the steps required to become the person I want to be.

I will not be so pompous as to say I know what I am doing, only that I know who I am doing this for.

This is mess, this is nonlinear,

this is
me.

And you can call me. B.

It’s nice to meet you.
Mei, & The Declaration for Growth, 2.

May 28th, 2025

The average person will experience roughly 6,000 thoughts in any single given day. I personally find this number rather low, but I surmise that just means I am above average – a status I do not find myself at often, so humor me.

The truth is I think, a lot. So much so, that one day I decided to track my thoughts in the form of writing. If I had a good idea or something that I wanted to remember, I’d write it down – advice I’d give to literally anyone because if you think you’re going to remember that thing you said you would right before you went to bed, you’re wrong. Bup-bup-bup – you’re wrong.

Write it down, you’ll thank me later.

I’ve always loved thoughts and thinking and writing things down, but this hobby has proven to be rather expensive since I refuse to write them all in the same place. Now, with this information, can anyone guess what shopping addiction I have? What aisle I always find myself in every trip I make to Target? What I don’t reallllly need but ALWAYS want? The thing I have enough of but can’t get enough of? I know what you’re thinking, and you don’t have to say it out loud, I’ll tell you now, you’re right.

Notebooks. Journals. Pens. Pencils. Anything and everything to keep my notes looking organized and tidy, despite me very rarely ever coming back to them once I’ve finished the thought. It’s an addiction, a hobby, and to be blatantly honest, a complete … waste of space.

I mean, I have drawers flooded with notebooks full of ideas I’ve never given a second thought to yet refuse to throw away; to me, they reflect the person I want so badly to be. I have a page in one of my notebooks that are scattered with things I want to someday do, as I’m sure you have a page just like it somewhere in your desk too.

“I want to learn how to garden!”
“I want to learn how to sew!”
“How to drive stick-shift.”
Or, “How to play Billy Joel’s Piano Man on the piano” for my husband – yes, yes, I know I pinkie promised, but listen, I’m not dead yet, so I haven’t broken that promise. Be patient, I’ll get there.

The list goes on, but that’s not why I’m here.

Believe it or not, the reason why I’m here… is because I forgot to pay my phone bill – no, scratch that, it’s because I couldn’t pay my phone bill.

Now, the only way to do this is in the exact same way the beginning of Better Man, by Michael Gracey, goes… The opening monologue:

ROBBIE (V.O.)
(as if rehearsing)
Good evening folks. Good evening you slags. No, good evening folks.
So, who is Robbie Williams? Well I’ve been called many things –
narcissistic, punchable, shit-eating twat. But while I’m all
those things, I want to show you how I really see myself. So sit
back, relax, while I give you a right fucking entertaining.

So, the story starts…

It was the night before last and I had been begging myself to stop being so…perezosa, lazy. Memorial Day had come and went; I spent the afternoon with my parents, on a double date with my husband, and we saw the recently released Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning.

I. LOVED. IT. Pair it with Top Gun and that’s everything I want to embody in terms of skillset and intelligence. Tom Cruise, you are a man of many talents, and your drive, your hustle, and your ambition remains unmatched. Talk about a right fucking entertainment – Robbie’s words, not mine, mom. DONT HURT ME!

What can I say, I was inspired. Not to mention that lately I had been standing idly by while I let myself go in terms of my weight, productivity, stimulation, and debt. Oh, the debt – the scary, ominous debt. I’ll tell you this, if my credit card limit was heaven, my debt’s tall enough to reach it. So, honestly, this movie came at a perfect time, because these four walls have slowly been caving in on me and I knew it would be just about any day now that I’d find myself caught in the wreckage.

So I thought to myself,

Come on, B. Domi (my son) goes to daycare at 7 and you have the rest of the day to do something worth wild. Write a book, what about that new script you’ve been thinking about? Practice your Spanish, work on your ASL. Learn the choreography to that superb dance scene in Better Man that you like so much. Learn how to meditate or practice yoga, better yet, go get shredded at the gym – then you can be the next Tom Cruise, or should I say, Tomiee Cruise. Yeah, that’s cute. Tomiee Cruise. Be her.

So, I did. I went to bed early, got up the next morning, took my son to daycare, and headed off to the gym where I completed a H.I.I.T workout on the treadmill. No, it wasn’t as hardcore as I thought it would be, but it was enough for my first time back in weeks and I had a drench of sweat to prove it. After my shower, I told myself, why should I stop the mindfulness there? If I put together a nice well-balanced breakfast, I can be one step closer to achieving my dream status of Tomiee Cruise.

So, I did. Scarfed down a protein shake – 30 grams mind you – chased by blueberries, buttered toast, and a cheese stick. Take a moment, I know you need one, because I can sense the judgement through this screen as I write this right now and I only have one thing to say to you.

Rude.

The point is I’m trying and my sister told me that was enough so… in your face!

Anyway, the breakfast wasn’t the problem. The problem was when I went to check in at the gym, my membership QR code wouldn’t load. And the longer I sat there waiting for it to pop up, it occurred to me what day it was.

Monthly plan renewal due date.

Buckets! Well, no need to rush, I thought. I shouldn’t be on my phone anyway. Maybe I could go without it. Yeah. that’s what I’ll do. Go without it. Now, what’s next? OO! My Spanish exam is due today, let’s focus on that. I wonder how many languages Tom Cruise speaks.

The answer is fluent in four, ten in progress. Hot, but I digress.

I waltz over to my desk and boot up my computer; scroll over to my canvas login and what am I confronted with? Two-Step Factor Authorization.

Nicely played, Verizon. Touché. All right, you win, let’s pay that bill. I scroll over to the myVerizon account login page and tragically, I realize I forgot my password. From there, I enter a downward spiral where I can’t reset my password online because they need to send a reset code to my phone number and despite not needing to say it because it’s quite obvious you already know what the problem is here, I will say it anyway:

I. cannot. receive. text. messages.

And thus presents my inner dilemma: I want to be productive, but I don’t want to go out because it feels like too much work. If I don’t go out, I can’t pay my phone bill and if I don’t pay my phone bill, I can’t log into canvas. If I don’t log into canvas, I can’t take my Spanish exam that’s due tonight and if I don’t take my Spanish exam, well, there goes my grade. It’s clear what I have to do, but that doesn’t prevent me from begging the question, should I though?

I know, typical Gen Z mindset, but listen, starting is the hardest part. Give me 21 days, I’ll be more seasoned in not questioning the hard things and just doing them… right?

So, I go to the store. I’m sitting there with a live agent, and as she is looking over my account, I decide to use the store’s Wi-Fi to check my bank account for absolutely no reason whatsoever. No, seriously, in this moment, I have no concern about the card I planned on using. I knew which card I couldn’t use – my debit card, duh, but my credit card? Easy.

Eh – wrong. I was MAXED. OUT. No, no, how can this be?

*Insert montage of all my most recent, though unnecessary, purchases*
*CUE: camera close up to my face when clicking the submit button on said order(s)*

Buckets.

Suffice to say, if my husband and I hadn’t saved our tax return – let alone entrusted me to keep it safe in my savings account, I would not have been able to save myself from an imminent soul-crushing bout of humiliation that would have ensued once that live agent asked for my method of payment.

Which brings me here.

This chapter is meant to introduce the turn of a new leaf, a transition into a more mindful approach to living. One where there is little room for frivolous spending or brain-rotting, where the only weight-gain I experience is intentional, and any social hangouts I participate in feed and nourish me. Each chapter will be based off each month, though each month will carry a name of my own design, and the beginning starts,

with Mei.

And as I begin this new journey of mine, a line from my favorite television series — Frasier, of course — comes to mind:

“Move, change, do something. If it’s a mistake, do something else.”
-Frasier, s.1, ep. 1

And with that said, we begin.

Chapter Two: Jöön.

Mei ft. The Curated Drop: The Growth & Grind Report

Mei, & The Financial Pivot, 3

Mei ft. The Curated Drop: The Reading & Rhythm Report

Chapter One: Mei.

Mei, & The Declaration for Growth, 2.